Friday, June 16, 2006

Summer Movie List

To be perfectly honest, I started to compile this list due to the end of summer. Yes, I am well aware that it is currently June. However, at the end of every summer I always ask myself the same question, "what did I do all summer?" Which, of course, is followed by, "how did I manage to waste all that time?" Well, this is my time capsule in a sense. I'm making a great list of all the movies I've seen this summer. I'll try to update this list as often as I can, and I'll also update the next two movies I'm planning on watching. Feel free to recommend any movies that come to mind (as you can see, I'm basically renting and watching whatever happens to catch my eye at the time). This list also serves as something of an excuse, since I haven't gotten around to writing a full bad action movie review for a little while. Sorry, sorry, I'm trying to remedy the situation. But, for now, please enjoy this grandoise list:

On Deck: Pitch Black
In the Hole: some 4400, some Firefly

The Summer Movie List:
I Heart Huckabees
Vanilla Sky
Nacho Libre
Ghost In The Shell
High Fidelity
Battlefield Earth
Along Came Polly
Happy Gilmore
Runaway Jury
The Replacements
Old School
Sky Captain & The World of Tomorrow
The Ice Harvest
Minority Report
Underworld 2
Good Night, and Good Luck
Kibakichi 2
Time Changer
Dark City
Exit Wounds
Romeo Must Die
X-Men 3
The Da Vinci Code
V For Vendetta
Escape From L.A.
Escape From New York
Starship Troopers
Starship Troopers 2
Aeon Flux
Terminator 3
Grandma’s Boy
They Live
Mind Hunters
Wicker Park
The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy
Orange County
Cutthroat Island
Dawn of the Dead
Mission Impossible II
Final Fantasy VII – Advent Children
Van Helsing

Friday, June 02, 2006

Starship Troopers 2 (2004)

Overall Rating:
If you’re looking for a bug-killin’ movie like the first one, this ain’t it. It’s actually a horror movie in disguise, with almost the entire movie taking place inside an outpost. A couple boobie scenes, some gun-play and bad fighting describe the rest of the movie. Not worth renting. Definitely wouldn’t watch it again.

Why We Rented It:
In this rapid-fire sequel to the cult favorite, the Federation’s best Mobile Infantry unit goes back into action against the Bug horde. But this time, the Bugs are waiting for them. Trapped on a remote outpost light years from the nearest reinforcements, a small group of soldiers fights an enemy smarter and more cunning than any they’ve ever faced. Now they must join forces with an infamous traitor to the Federation if they are to have any hope. And it’s not just their lives at stake, it’s the survival of the human race. If they want to live, they’ll have to use their heads before the Bugs do!

Academy Award winner Phil Tippett (1993, Best Visual Effects for Jurassic Park), on of the greatest visual effects wizards in movie history, makes his directorial debut.

Our Synopsis:
We will now be spoiling the movie for you, so you should stop reading now if you don't want this to happen. Well, it’s actually a horror movie in case you are curious. The makers of the movie obviously had $0 allocated for CG special effects, and the result is spliced in shots from the original Starship Troopers of the arachnids. There are naked boobies, but they only appear in shadowy-areas, which is unfortunate. We had a great debate here over whether the flag they use for the Federation is the same one as the first movie. After re-watching Starship Troopers we can tell you, yes; yes it is the same. It is one ugly flag.

What’s really a crying shame is that someone who somehow won an Oscar was involved in this picture. Wait, not only involved but directed!? Here’s the plot spoiling part: there are new bugs in this movie that can go inside a dead humans head and control them like a puppet. I thought this was rather funny, because it reminded me of the first movie and the absolutely great line, “looks like a bug was in his brain, sir,” and, not to be left out, “they sucked his brains out.” Oh, but this movie only had one type of sucking, and it was sadly not brains. Bad fighting scenes, bad shooting scenes, bad kissing scenes (that’s how the people with bugs in their heads transfer other bugs into other people’s heads; unwillingly, of course). Had decent gun-play (well, except for the fact that all their guns glowed at the tip, like they were laser guns or something) and mediocre fighting.

Shortening Reviews

For those who frequent this little site, you may have noticed that the updates have been non-existent as of late. It's not that I've stopped watching Bad Action Movies, far from it. Lately I've watched more bad action movies than I have time to review. So, a decision has been reached. Reviews are going to start becoming shorter.

We will continue to have the sections Overall Rating, Why We Rented It, and Our Synopsis. The Our Synopsis section will now contain spoilers, because frankly I find it much more enjoyable to review a movie and talk about all of the bad parts contained therein. You can't comprehend how truly bad a movie is until you examine the Hulk-sized holes and absurdity of the plot.

Sorry to those who don't want their experiences ruined. I'll be sure to mention at the beginning of every Our Synopsis that: "we will now be spoiling the movie for you, so you should stop reading now if you don't want this to happen."

Thanks, and happy watching!